Perhaps the most important thing a manager can say during a one-on-one is nothing at all.
Listening to employees’ concerns and career goals are the foundation for building trust and honest communication. In order to do that, engineering managers need to create an environment where employees feel comfortable opening up.
Being transparent helps.
Annika Peterson, a software engineering manager at Cisco Meraki, a company that provides cloud-controlled Wi-Fi and security products, recommends giving direct reports an agenda of their one-on-ones. Time alone with the boss can be intimidating. Giving employees a space to lead the conversation however they see fit encourages them to open up faster.
Sometimes, that means casual chats will turn into serious conversations. Once direct reports feel safe, it’s easier for them to speak honestly about career goals, pain points, work-life balance and more.
Questions for Managers to Use in One-on-Ones
- What are you hoping I won’t bring up?
- How was it working with person X on project Y this week?
- Is there anything happening on our team that is worrying you?
- What else is on your mind?
- What are you doing for self-care?
- How has your work-life balance been lately?
- Do you have any advice for me?
While it’s important to share one-on-one agendas with direct reports, Peterson said that doesn’t mean meetings have to be too formal. Hosting one-on-ones over coffee or keeping chats informal are simple solutions to put reports at ease.
Tell us about your approach to one-on-ones with engineers.
I mix up my one-on-ones with my engineers. Most of the time we have an agenda. That agenda includes both technical and non-tactical agenda items. However, I let them choose the topics. One-on-ones are their time with me and I want my reports to always get the first say in what we talk about. To help them, I give each of them a list of questions that are non-tactical and ask them to pick one to discuss. I use this as a way to ensure we’re getting time to talk about other important life topics including work-life balance, team structure and career goals.
I find having an agenda helps to give both of us time to see what is going to happen in our one-on-one. It also ensures that people can think about what they want to talk about beforehand and it makes it easier to give me feedback. However, every so often, I just take my reports out for coffee or have an informal chat. Sometimes you just need a break from agendas, meetings and the office. By mixing up the types of one-on-ones I have, I find we can relax and my reports know they can talk about anything they want.
What questions have you found to be particularly important to ask in your one-on-ones?
I have quite a huge bank of questions that I let my engineers choose from but my personal favorites are, “What are you hoping I won’t bring up?” and, “How has your work-life balance been lately?” Both of these help me gauge what is going on with my team and see if I need to make adjustments. They also give me a great opportunity to do some coaching through problems before they get too big. From a feedback perspective, I love to ask, “Do you have any advice for me?” Feedback is hard to think of on the spot but framing it as advice helps to make everyone more comfortable.
Feedback is hard to think of on the spot but framing it as advice helps to make everyone more comfortable.”
What is one important change you made to your approach to one-on-ones that has helped you get more from the meeting?
I added a section on highlights of their week. After adding the agendas, I found that a section just on things they want to highlight gives us both a time to talk about their wins and gives me a history of all the great work they do. This helps a lot come promotion cycles and performance reviews because I have a list from each week. I can use this list to present my reports in their best possible light. It also ensures that we start on a positive note.
